FYI

What NOT To Say To Women.

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I think as a man grows older he slowly figures out the things you are NOT supposed to say to any female. EVER. Of course, that doesn’t mean we learned anything or that we aren’t going to slip every now and then. My shoe has permanent teeth marks on the tip from all the times I put my foot in my mouth.

For those of us that need help every now and then, there was a survey done to find out the absolute WORST things you can say to a woman. The best thing FYI is “Have you lost weight?” acccording to the women surveyed. Click the jump to read the worst.
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Best Obituary EVER.

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I think I’m going to start writing mine now! I have to find a way to top this one that was done in Denver Colorado. Tell me this is not the most GANGSTA obituary ever written!

“Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.”

 

It has everything! Ok, time to get to work on what mine will say.

Ah-CHOO!

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Ugh, allergy season is making its way to town and it’s certain to make the tip of my nose red and sensitive. Plus I have to deal with all the complaining from co-workers about how crappy they feel. All the sneezing and coughing and SNOT (so much SNOT!). I have to strategically wear a long sleeve shirt because I don’t believe in blowing my nose. Not that I don’t like it, I’m just lazy and don’t want to get up from the computer to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes.

So you can either buy some allergy medicine and start taking it now, because it doesn’t relieve symptoms it prevents them. Or you can take a look at this list of 5 strange but effective things you can do to prepare for the season ahead. Plus they are all natural. Choose wisely!

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Happy Birthday!

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Sadly, this was my father figure growing up (well him and ALF…. not much better). Coincidentally I may have discovered why I’m such a smart ass…Oh well! This doesn’t make my girlfriend excited to start a life with me or have chidren but she should be thankful I’m not a shoe salesman! So what if I just want to sit on the couch watching Psycho Dad with my hand in my pants! Anyway… Happy 66th Birthday Ed O’Neil, or as I like to call him “Pops!”

“thank your father kids”

“THANKS DAD!”

Don’t Eat & Drive

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On occasion you can find me eating a sandwich, talking on the phone, blasting my music and looking at directions on my phone all at once! Suprisingly, I’m not DEAD! After reading this study I may have to adjust my driving tactics. Nah, I’ll just buy a bluetooth!

Eating and driving distracts you significantly more than being drunk or texting and driving. When you eat, your reaction time slows down up to…

I Wish I Could Be THAT Guy.

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I have always wanted to be THAT guy who doesn’t care about looking like a douche! For example, I would like to sit at a restaurant and place a stack of one dollar bills on the table and then let the waiter watch me take one off at a time everytime he messes up or makes me wait. What ever is left will be his tip! If only I could be that mean…I have however, not left a tip because of horrible service. It has to be REALLY bad for me to leave nothing but I think that good service should be rewarded and bad service should not. You live off your tips? Maybe try and pretend you like your job!

There is a point to this (who da thunk it?). Good news is that I’m not the only one among us that has left a bad tip or no tip before. A survey by CouponCabin found that Continue reading →

Worst of the Worse

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People are always telling you how bad frozen dinners are for you (like you had a choice between that and a private chef to cook for you, but you’re poor and live alone and don’t want to put any effort into something that only YOU are going to eat) but the worst part is that you know they are right. It’s ok to have one every once in a while but not for every meal, but it is NEVER ok to have any of the 7 on this list. I give you, the worst of the worse frozen dinners. After the jump!

Happy Story of the Day

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Occasionally it’s nice to hear about something good that happens in the crazy world we live in.  It definitely doesn’t get enough attention. This 9yr old kid Robbie Gillette in Sidney Ohio took it upon himself to be a good person. After watching footage of a tornado tearing through a school in Henryville Indiana, he decided that they were going to need some help. So he got his parents to help him collect a truck full of school supplies and toys and then drive the 200 miles to Henryville to hand deliver them to the preschool students who were trapped in the school after the storm. They then made him an honorary member of their class.  A station in Kentucky covered the story, watch the video HERE

We Are All SCREWED!

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By “we” I mean the MEN of the world. Luckily I tricked my wonderful girlfriend into staying with me even though I look and act like a 12 year old fat kid. Some of you might not be as fortunate as I am and I think I may have discovered why. (BE WARNED if you are a guy with low self-esteem, this is not going to make you feel better) A survey was done with 2000 women to find out what the qualities are that make the perfect man. The only part I have going for me is the clean shaven, hairless chest thing. That’s because, like I said, I look like I’m 12. Check out the breakdown of the 26 criteria after the jump and ladies let us know how accurate it is!