Father’s Day Gifts To Avoid

Perhaps you have been waiting to buy your dad a gift until I posted this list to help you decide what you should get him. Most likely that’s not true but we are going to pretend anyway. Well here is it! The list you have been waiting for since you remember it was Father’s Day this weekend. Sometimes dad can be hard to shop for because he always says that all he needs is the 3 “S’s” (Sleep. Sex. Silence.) and he will be happy. Wouldn’t we all. However, you’re going to give it a try and see if you can find something just right. Here are the things he DOESN’T want.
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America’s Manliest Cities

Let’s just get this out of the way. Whatever city I’m in IS the manliest city in America. I am all that is man and don’t you forget it. Ok, now on to the other manliest cities in America! These statistics are based on several factors (no, me being in them wasn’t considered…which is just rude) including the number of hardware stores, steakhouses and people in manly occupations. Then to make it fair, cities lose points for each nail salon and facy boutique they have. It could be good or bad if you live in a manly city. Especially if you are not a man, that would be awkward. Well find out if you do after the jump!

Your Shoes HATE You.

Yes, I do really own Superman Converses. Don’t judge me….or DO judge me? Maybe this is why the ladies love the shoes so much (I’ll never understand women). According to a new study, people can tell A LOT about you just from your shoes. It’s sounds like a stereotype thing but in this case their judgements are 90% right. In this study from Kansas City they showed that you can tell someone’s age, gender, income, political beliefs and personality traits all by their SHOES! Before you go and call “shenanigans” read how they do it after the jump!
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Don’t Tell Them THAT!

We are a sensitvie bunch. By “we” I mean us guys. Believe it or not we are a little insecure as well (it’s not all about YOU!) and we have a reputation to protect. So there are some things you can tell your friends about us, like how GREAT we are in bed. That we don’t mind, you could announce that to the world if you like. Just don’t tell them we like to cuddle afterwards! That just makes us sound like a wuss. I know, it shouldn’t be anything we are ashamed of because the ladies like a cuddler. Trust us, we don’t want to be ashamed but we have to be because it’s not “Manly” when said out loud. So keep in between us because if that gets out then we have to deal with our friends calling us “Captain Cuddle Pants.” So In order to help you ladies in this process I have discovered a list of things that ARE and AREN’T ok for you to tell your friends about. Check them out after the jump!
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Fun Facts!

Who doesn’t LOVE fun facts? Well you probably won’t really appreciate these ones but that doesn’t mean that all fun facts are depressing…just these. Google has a very poor opinion of you, the “man” is no longer keeping you down instead it’s your parents and the smaller the town the more likely you are to be MURDERED! Like I said, FUN right? Check them out after the jump! (how sad is the picture for this post BTW…it’s like I didn’t even try)
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Morning People Suck!

Ok maybe “suck” is a little harsh but they ARE pretty annoying. I come into work at about 11 everyday and even that is sometimes to early for me. I have checked and checked and it turns out that “6:00am – 8:00am” aren’t even on my alarm clock. So good for you people that can get up and just be chipper right as you roll out of bed. You have to give me 3 hours before I can start forming complete sentences. More good news for you early risers (bad news for me) is a study from the University of Toronto found that not only are morning people happier and more energetic in the morning but they are happiest with life overall. As we get older and older we start to wake up earlier and that has to do with our brains adjusting to what makes them happier. Only about 7% of people aged 17-39 say they are morning people and the same amount of people ages 59-79 say they are night owls.

Speaking of weird sleeping facts, something you thought you grew out of when you were young may be the thing that is keeping you awake at night. Find out after the jump!

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You’re Gonna Die.

I know, big shock right? The reason I decided to tell you this wasn’t because I am feeling a little “dark” today, it’s really because they have come out with a pretty interesting fact about when you are most likely to DIE. What makes it interesting is that it’s most likely to happen…on your BIRTHDAY (Lame!) or at least in the days surrounding it that any other day of the year. I won’t even get to have cake, and what’s the point of a birthday with no cake. Some scientists in Switzerland did a study of over 2 millions people and came up with some interesting statistics. Check them out after the jump!

Just Give Up Now.

There are some relationships that we see that we look on in awe. “How did they find a way to make it work so long?” and “They must REALLY love each other” are the things we say when we see someone celebrating their golden anniversary. It just goes to show that there are some people who can still do “until death do us part.” This is NOT one of those times. In fact, this should make you realize that no matter how much you may love your significant other EVENTUALLY you just get tired of them there ALL THE TIME. After 115 years of marriage, 2 giant turtles at a zoo in Autria have called it quits. The marriage really started to go down hill when the female turtle BIT a chunk out of the males shell. Now they can’t stand the site of each other and the zoo has announced they are getting “divorced” now. Proof that even in the turtle world…bitches BE crazy!

Best, Teacher. Ever.

Forget Superman, this guy is my new hero! I’m pretty sure this teacher is going to be fired after all the parents officially register their complaints because their kids feelings were hurt (awww poor baby!) but I hope that doesn’t happen. An English teacher named David McCullough Junior works at  Wellesley High School in Boston gave an epic speech to the graduating class with such key phrases as “You’re not special. Even if your parents have told you that every day.  No one’s going to hand you anything in the world.  So if you want anything from this point on, you have to earn it” and that’s just the beginning of this wise mans advice. Check out some hightlights after the jump and join with me in a slow clap.
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Yup! That’s America

If we are anything in this country, it’s American through and through! Even when the shoplifting statistics from the National Retail Federation releases a list of the most shoplifted items in the US, we find a way to make sure they know what we are all about in ‘Merica! If this is sounding anti-American then you are reading it wrong. I’m all about the Red, White & Blue trust me! I happen to think this list is hilarious and just so it’s out there, I am very proud to be an American. Now that you have your “I can take a joke” hats on, let’s all laugh at this!
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